Dream Crushers

I recently started a new job, and it gives me lots of time to ponder my future, and things that happen around me. My most recent thought I can't just pass up. I NEED to share it. The world needs to hear this. We need to change.
If you can guess, this isn't a light subject. Not super intense, but deep, and something we need to think about.
A few days ago, I realized that there is such a thing as a dream crusher. I feel like that isn't the right word to use, but it's the only one I can think of that will work. Let me explain.
I am in the process of moving to New York. I am going to be a nanny, and I will be able to travel. I haven't always dreamed about being a nanny, but for a while I have thought it would be an enjoyable job. I would be making a difference in some children's lives, I would get to know them, I could practice being a mom, etc. I have always loved working with kids. Now traveling, on the other hand I have ALWAYS wanted to do. I can remember in third grade there was a girl who always traveled, and I was always so jealous. I love experiencing new cultures, and I have always known that I wanted to travel a lot. So moving to new york is definitely fulfilling one of my dreams, and helping me prepare for my future, and maybe even helping me decide my career goals. Not only that, but I feel like my heavenly father wants me to go. At one point, I had given up on this whole moving thing (I will explain more in a minute). That very day after I had decided, I saw at least 30 "follow your dreams", "don't let people decide your destiny", and "do what you want with your life, not what other want you to do" videos. If there was just one video, I would have passed it off as a coincidence, but I honestly don't think that was. I had never seen that many before that day, and still haven't ever seen that many since then. Pretty sure that was Heavenly Fathers way of saying it was okay, and I needed to go.
Now, the reason I had given up on this job, was because people around me were trying to convince me not to. It would be "to hard", "dangerous", "risky", "too much to handle", and they were constantly telling me that I was crazy.  I had two siblings (and their wives) supporting me. My parents were against it, and still are, and my sister who is on a mission tried for a long time to get me to stay home. I have nothing against them, but they are dream crushers. They were so concerned that this was such a big change for them and me, that it just wasn't worth it. It seemed like what I wanted to do wasn't important. What was important was doing what is sane. It was if they were telling me to Stay in my comfort zone, don't do anything drastic and to follow others paths, even if thats not what you want out of life.
They're Dream Crushers. They don't want you to follow your dreams, they want you to stay safe and not take risks.
So why didn't I listen to them?
I recently graduated high school. As I was handed my diploma, I made a promise to myself. What led up to is was each time I saw the dance team perform, I wished I had tried out. I wished I had taken art classes. I wished I had tried more things. So I made a promise to myself, that I wouldn't regret not doing things ever again. I promised that if I ever had the thought "I want to try that." I would do it. I don't want to miss opportunities anymore. I don't want to be on my dying bed wishing I had done something else. I want to be able to look back on my life and have experienced more things than college. And ever since I made that promise, I have loved life. New York is just another one of those "I want to try/do" things. I KNOW I will regret not going.
Anyways. Enough of that. Lets get down to the deep stuff.
I have something sad to tell you. We have all had our dreams crushed, and we ourselves are dream crushers.
 I know what you are thinking. "i've never crushed anyones dreams."
You haven't? You've never ever told someone that a dream or IDEA (ideas lead to dreams.) they had was dumb? Or weird? Or that it wouldn't work? Maybe you said it wasn't worth it, Or that it would badly? You can't justify that you knew from experience. Maybe a few times, but I doubt that every single time you KNEW that it was a bad idea or that it would end badly.
The thing is, its not completely your fault you are a dream crusher. We are raised to think inside the box, and not branch out. Change is a "bad thing." I see parents telling their kids "No, we can't do that." or "you have quite the imagination." and saying things that are basically telling their kids that what they want is not important. We are tearing people down and raising others to do the same. It NEEDS to stop. We need to start being supportive of the things people want to do. Even if we know it will end poorly, support them. And when it does, be there for them.
We need to stop preventing people from experiencing the things they want to, and we need to start helping them find ways to do what they really want.
I am pleading with you. Please remember what it feels like to be told that something you want so dearly is "a waste", and stop doing the same to others. We as a humanity need to help others achieve things. We need to not tear them down. We need to support.
And if there is something you want to do, DO IT. Don't let others determine your destiny. Start now. Don't wait to have an eye opening moment like I did. I learned too late. And I can promise you, you'll learn too late. But, you still have time to change and do what you truly want. You may have missed opportunities, but more are on their way. Stop looking for others' approval and take those opportunities if you even slightly want to, and encourage others to do the same. Don't wait until you are told you are dying to do things you want. Start now.
We need others to survive, so lets make surviving bearable by helping each other live happily!

Socks

Socks... Man these things could be the death of me. Well, not literally, but almost. Why? I will tell you why.
Everybody has their daily routines... wake up, eat breakfast, go to work/school, I think you get my point. But one of mine? Looking through my drawers trying to find 2 socks that are kind of similar. I don't care if colors match, but how awkward would it be to have a knee high sock and then an ankle sock? Very! And that is exactly why it's part of my routine. Because I lack organization skills when I comes to socks. I (in the moment... Afterwards it's not so true) would much rather search for a few minutes (more like 5...) in the morning than take the time to put them together. And because of that laziness, it is part of my daily routine. I get all dressed, and I have to mentally prepare for my sock search. I will tell you honestly, I suck at it. That's why it takes me so long to find them.
Heck... I could... I don't know... Start a religion that gathers every lazy, un-sock-organized, morning sock searching soul together. I could call it the "sock searchers." It's that much a part of my routine.
What could I do with that time I spent in the morning if I didn't have to search for my socks? Probably a lot but I wouldn't know... I haven't ever had that time.
Anyways.... That's my whole shpeel on socks... And how they are starting to take over my life.
What is the "sock" in your situation?

Productivity

Sometimes I struggle with being productive. But I think I figured out the trick. :) here's the story. I took on the responsibility of accompanying a piece of music for choir. I didn't get time to practice till about Tuesday. I thought it looked pretty easy so I wasn't too stressed about it. Little did I know... It's probably the most intense song I have ever tried to learn. So how do I get myself to practice? (More than I already have... Which has been about 15 hours this week...)
This is how.

A hard choice to make

Dear tatertotexpress blog,
I seem to have forgotten about you with my new blog... I promise it's not you, it's me. And my lack of ability to stay on top of this blog. New things are just so exciting... You know?
I promise I will make time for you too... I just need to figure out how more things I can tell you about. So I am sorry... Oh! Here is a topic. Lets give this one a go, shall we?


So the other day (Saturday) I found out one of my acquaintances (that I honestly don't like all that much...) was spreading rumors. Now I'm not one to make a decision right then and there unless I absolutely have to. So I thought about it for a few days. It was a hard decision I could have...
-smacked her
-freaked out at her for saying crap
-stood up for myself
-told a teacher
-try and talk it out with her
Really the list goes on. But what did I decide to do? Kill her with kindness. Because in the long run, if the people she tells believe her, they aren't really my true friends. And who looks worse in the end? The one being kind and putting up with the drama, or the one making the lies and drama? I think we all know the answer.
I will be honest, I am pretty proud of myself. That's not an easy decision. What would you have chosen?

"Do you need help?"

Tonight, I was taking some things out to our car for my mom, and one of these things was a huge box full of glass bricks. I was trying to open the car door as a man walked by and he saw I was struggling and asked me "do you need help?" I of course said yes, but that's not what I was getting at. Think about that question.
Do you need help?
He could have just walked by, it would have been normal. But he was willing to ask that simple question, Do you need help? And I have been pondering it for a few minutes. I want to be like that. Willing to ask a stranger if they need help. This man had a huge impact on me with four words. Four. Imagine if I used those four words four times. Would I impact four people? Or even just make their burden lighter?
Another thought that was brought up by this is that I am making the choices I need to make, and putting myself in the right places at the right time. Not just with going outside at the right minute, but everything in my life.
I was just thinking about the choices that I had made this year, and how if I didn't make them my life would be so different. Had I not been in choir, I wouldn't have made the friends I have made this year, and they are some of the best I have ever had. Just simple things like choosing to audition for choir, or choosing to take a class has made a huge impact on my life. I have been so hard on myself thinking that I'm not where I should be. But, those four words "do you need help?" Made me realize I'm not. I'm where I should be. Of course I could be doing things better, but I'm where I need to be.
So all in all, my new goal is to ask at least one person if they need help. A stranger or friend, I will ask, and I challenge you to do the same.

It Snowed!

Since you can't see me, I will just tell you I am doing a little victory dance. Yes... It's true.
I love the snow soooo much! And it has been snowing half the day, and so I have been super excited since it started. Again... I love the snow. So I am super happy.

Music

Well, music has now become my life. I kinda feel like I'm saying goodbye to the world and completely involving myself to music, school, and sleep.
Back when we were having choir auditions I had to decide if I was actually willing to put a ton of my time into music... And I decided I loved it enough to. It was worth it. Luckily, I am actually willing to Spend most of my free time practicing and learning music.
And here I am... Spending a couple hours a day practicing piano, learning choir music, and singing.
It may be stressful, but I love it.

Sometimes I get frustrated

So I have been learning this song on the piano and was hoping/wanting to have it done by Christmas. This is it:
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=V07xuJprW9c
I can sort of play the first 40 seconds... And he plays it a little fast so technically I can play like 55 seconds. Hmm...
Basically the point of this blog is that I was practicing, and I was just getting frustrated. I don't normally get frustrated... But because I was overcome with this rare frustration, I felt like my practicing was not helping me, but making it worse.
So moral of the story; sometimes you have to just take a break because if you are frustrated, you are making things worse if you keep pushing yourself when you have done what you could.
I think you can apply this to life too, not just piano. If you are frustrated about something but feeling like you have to finish, it just gets harder and harder and we just need to take a break.
Yep. That's all I have to say. :)

And then sometimes...

You get a card like this.
And it makes your day... Yep. I like it.

Well you see...

Well you see... I am a strange one. Today was a mighty fine example of that. Why? Here is the story.
I decided with a friend today that I was Chuck Norris. How that came about, I don't know. But I am. And at lunch... I decided I have the weirdest ADHD mind you will probably ever see, and then you will see a cow.
Basically, I am strange. And even people who know I am weird were shocked today...
Right now I am sitting in my history class and decided to blog about the weird things that happened today because I already finished my work.
And... Well you see... This had no real point.

The ones we love

Sometimes when I am blogging, I don't know whether or not I should capitalize the title or not. Cause it's not really important... Anyways... That's bedsides the point.
Recently I have been watching a show on Netflix (I know! I shouldn't... But I do anyways...) and I noticed something.
Well, I guess I should tell you what it is and what it's about. It's called Once Upon a Time. Basically story book characters get stuck in our world and they don't remember the other world.
Back to what I noticed. I noticed that in pretty much every episode someone hurts the person they love. Whether it be family or friend, they hurt them. And I can't help but wonder...
Why do we hurt the ones we love?
I don't get it. If we love them, wouldn't we do anything to protect them? If that's the case, why is it we think that the way to protect them is to avoid them?
I will be totally honest... I hate when I find out a guy has a crush on me because I have the biggest fear I will hurt them. I have been hurt, and I would hate to be the reason someone feels that way.
I just don't understand that. Do you?

My books

So I write stories... And I always did it on my iPod. Then, once upon a time, my iPod malfunctioned and I lost all of them and I am super bummed about it. Those stories were a part of me and now they are gone. It's super annoying.

Actually...

It's 7:41 an and I am waiting for my ride to school so, I decided to blog.
Last night I read through all of my posts and I must say, actually I am pretty awesome. I say some of the randomest stuff. I knew I was weird, but while I was reading those posts, I was laughing so hard at myself because of some of the things I say. And so I decided that I am awesome. I may not be to you, but I am to me. And that's what really matters.

Hair

I have been growing my hair out for a long time, and it has been super hard. Why? Because for the longest time it has been at the awkward length where it's too short to be long, but too long to be short... And there is about three inches where it is at that stage for me. I am proud to say that when I looked in the mirror at my hair, it had finally passed that stage! My hair is actually long. Not super long, but its not short. I am pretty much the happiest person. That is all.

The best hot chocolate in the world!

Ready for my secret recipe? I honestly think it is the best hot chocolate you will ever taste. Here it is!

So I start out with about a half cup of water and boil it in the microwave.

Then I fill the cup with marshmallows

And stir.

Then I add milk to lower the temperature. Not a lot though.

Add a little bit of the mix, not too much. Remember the marshmallows? It has flavor, the mix makes it so its a little chocolatey and you can always add more later.

And the final optional step is to put cream in.

Stir, and enjoy!

Dear Presidential Debate Candidates...

Day two of starting to blog again! weird.
So, I am watching the debate with my dad and here is what I would write to Romney and Obama if I could.

Dear Obama,
Why is it that your way of "answering" these questions is to bash on romney? Honestly, if you want people on your side, why arent you ANSWERING the questions? It makes it look like (pardon me if I'm wrong...) you dont have any other plan but to make him look like a fool, plus you are kind of looking like a bully.
That being said... Stop saying what is wrong with his plans, and tell us the ones that you are starting to make look like you don't have.
Love, ME.

Dear Romney,
I see that you are being told off repeatedly... but, that question is over, and interrupting doesnt help you look any better.
That being said, Sit down, let him make up what he wants to make up, and answer your questions.
Love, ME.

And, simply because I am writing letters, I decided to write one to myself.

Dear Me,
I like your eyes.
Love, you.

Thanks for reading!

Sprinkles

Did you know that sprinkles are delicious? Because they are. So good, that I decided to look up facts about them.
~they are also called hundreds and thousands, or jimmies (Totally calling them that)
~in the Netherlands they are used as a sandwich topping. (I'm totally trying this!)
~there are not many facts about sprinkles.
Apparently this colorful, sugary food, is not that cool. Bummer.

Two people I look up to

I have been scheming this for a while now... But there are two people I really look up to.
1. Alison Williams
This is my sister in law. One of them. I don't know what it is, but we could talk for hours. I will go to tell her one thing, and leave 2 hours later. Sometimes we talk about the strangest things. But, it's great. I love talking to her. I don't have many friends or people that I can do that with.
She is also great at not judging people. I have never seen her treat someone less than another because of appearance or anything else. She just loves everyone. Well, maybe not loves everyone, but she isn't one to hate over something little.
Another thing, is she sets a great example to me. She has four kids, and she does a great job of raising them. She is patient, loving... So much. Alison is just a great person. I love her.
2. Sherry Murray
So I know that she is reading this, and totally wasn't expecting this. Probably Alison too, but they both deserve the spotlight.
What I think is great about Sherry is that she is so relaxed about so much. At least she doesn't show it. She has 5 kids. The older two who are practically twins, and she has a set of triplets. Who I must say, are adorable. She has a very good excuse to be stressed, but she isn't. She is all for getting out and doing stuff. She goes swimming. She will take me to the store when I need to go, and she is just a great person.
I have never not wanted to be around her. If I am having a bad day, if I go talk to her or play with her kids, I forget that I was having a bad day. She has such a great atmosphere in her house, and I love it.
Both of these women set such a great example to me, and I love them to death. There are more people who I love, but as of right now, they are on the high end of the list.

ADHD

So I think I may have ADHD. In fact, this blog has nothing to do with ADHD, except for the fact that it shows you that I do.
I am a pinterest user. And lately, I have noticed that there have been a lot of pins about hair. Hair do's. Hair chalking (which, by the way I do.). Hair treatments. Hair colors. Hair cuts. The list goes on. (see?) Anyways, tonight I was doing a hair treatment with honey, and I was thinking about how long it has been since I blogged. So here I am, sitting here with honeyed... Honied. Honeyied... I think it's honeyed hair. And I am waiting until I am sick of waiting. One place says wait an hour. One says fifteen minutes. One says 20. So I am branching off and doing the crazy thing, just waiting until I am sick of it. Then I will go wash it out, and be done with it. That is, unless I decide to do it in a week or so.
Anyways, I really haven't blogged for a long time. So that is going to be my goal. Blog more. I know, I said that last time. And still not very many blogs. But I will try harder this time.
See how I went from ADHD to hair treatments, to blogging? Not that great of an example, but I can't stay on topic for the life of me.

Judging

I wrote about this yesterday, but I just want to talk about it a little more.
The world is too judgmental. And it HAS to stop. A prophet of the lds church tells this story:
A young couple, Lisa and John, moved into a new neighborhood. One morning while they were eating breakfast, Lisa looked out the window and watched her next-door neighbor hanging out her wash.
“That laundry’s not clean!” Lisa exclaimed. “Our neighbor doesn’t know how to get clothes clean!”
John looked on but remained silent.
Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, Lisa would make the same comments.
A few weeks later Lisa was surprised to glance out her window and see a nice, clean wash hanging in her neighbor’s yard. She said to her husband, “Look, John—she’s finally learned how to wash correctly! I wonder how she did it.”
John replied, “Well, dear, I have the answer for you. You’ll be interested to know that I got up early this morning and washed our windows!” (2010 October General Conference, Charity Never Faileth, Gen. Relief Society Meeting - Thomas S. Monson)
A couple years ago I was at girls camp. Everyone was asleep. But I heard the girls upstairs talking. And they were crying. One of the girls (I could have heard it wrong) said that she was being abused. This girl had always annoyed me. And I didn't like her. But after I heard this, everything clicked. I understood why she was annoying like she was.
The next thing I am going to talk about is listed like this: we see, we think.
We see a teenage girl pregnant, we think she is a slut. But what if she was raped.
The friendly guy stopped talking, he hates life and is emo. Really his sister just died.
The girl over there that's fat. She doesnt care about her body. But she can't excercise, she has a disease.
The person who doesnt eat, they are anorexic. But really, if they eat it will kill them because they have a disease.
The boy with a black eye, he is violent. But really he was beaten up.
The girl who cant make up her mind, she is annoying. But she can't because she is sick of being told her decisions are dumb.
The girl who is wearing the same thing as yesterday has poor hygiene. But maybe she had to run away from an abusive parent.
That girl who is always happy, has life good. But really she cries herself to sleep at night.
The person who constantly checks her phone, she is addicted. But she is waiting to find out if her kidnapped brother was found.
The person on the street is insane. But he was abandoned by his family.

I have read a couple of quotes about judging.
"judging someone doesnt define them, it defines you"
"everyone has a story. A reason they are the way they are. You have no right to judge someone you don't know. For all you know, today could be their last."
"if you judge people, you have no time to love them."
Keep on Criticizing, Insulting and judging people. Someday, someone will do the same to you"
"don't be so quick to judge, you only see what I choose to show you"
"you know my name, not my story"

Think about this. Is what you think of others what you want them to think of you? Do you want people to look at you and think things that aren't true? If not, then why do you do it to others?
I challenge you to do your best during the following day to not judge. Don't beat yourself up over failure, it will happen. But when you do have a judgmental thought, correct yourself. Tell you that you are wrong about them.
I will be honest, just talking about this, makes me cry. Because it is something horrible that happens every day.
Now, I understand that judging is something that comes naturally. But everyone needs that least try and stop.