Saturday, August 2, 2014

Dream Crushers

I recently started a new job, and it gives me lots of time to ponder my future, and things that happen around me. My most recent thought I can't just pass up. I NEED to share it. The world needs to hear this. We need to change.
If you can guess, this isn't a light subject. Not super intense, but deep, and something we need to think about.
A few days ago, I realized that there is such a thing as a dream crusher. I feel like that isn't the right word to use, but it's the only one I can think of that will work. Let me explain.
I am in the process of moving to New York. I am going to be a nanny, and I will be able to travel. I haven't always dreamed about being a nanny, but for a while I have thought it would be an enjoyable job. I would be making a difference in some children's lives, I would get to know them, I could practice being a mom, etc. I have always loved working with kids. Now traveling, on the other hand I have ALWAYS wanted to do. I can remember in third grade there was a girl who always traveled, and I was always so jealous. I love experiencing new cultures, and I have always known that I wanted to travel a lot. So moving to new york is definitely fulfilling one of my dreams, and helping me prepare for my future, and maybe even helping me decide my career goals. Not only that, but I feel like my heavenly father wants me to go. At one point, I had given up on this whole moving thing (I will explain more in a minute). That very day after I had decided, I saw at least 30 "follow your dreams", "don't let people decide your destiny", and "do what you want with your life, not what other want you to do" videos. If there was just one video, I would have passed it off as a coincidence, but I honestly don't think that was. I had never seen that many before that day, and still haven't ever seen that many since then. Pretty sure that was Heavenly Fathers way of saying it was okay, and I needed to go.
Now, the reason I had given up on this job, was because people around me were trying to convince me not to. It would be "to hard", "dangerous", "risky", "too much to handle", and they were constantly telling me that I was crazy.  I had two siblings (and their wives) supporting me. My parents were against it, and still are, and my sister who is on a mission tried for a long time to get me to stay home. I have nothing against them, but they are dream crushers. They were so concerned that this was such a big change for them and me, that it just wasn't worth it. It seemed like what I wanted to do wasn't important. What was important was doing what is sane. It was if they were telling me to Stay in my comfort zone, don't do anything drastic and to follow others paths, even if thats not what you want out of life.
They're Dream Crushers. They don't want you to follow your dreams, they want you to stay safe and not take risks.
So why didn't I listen to them?
I recently graduated high school. As I was handed my diploma, I made a promise to myself. What led up to is was each time I saw the dance team perform, I wished I had tried out. I wished I had taken art classes. I wished I had tried more things. So I made a promise to myself, that I wouldn't regret not doing things ever again. I promised that if I ever had the thought "I want to try that." I would do it. I don't want to miss opportunities anymore. I don't want to be on my dying bed wishing I had done something else. I want to be able to look back on my life and have experienced more things than college. And ever since I made that promise, I have loved life. New York is just another one of those "I want to try/do" things. I KNOW I will regret not going.
Anyways. Enough of that. Lets get down to the deep stuff.
I have something sad to tell you. We have all had our dreams crushed, and we ourselves are dream crushers.
 I know what you are thinking. "i've never crushed anyones dreams."
You haven't? You've never ever told someone that a dream or IDEA (ideas lead to dreams.) they had was dumb? Or weird? Or that it wouldn't work? Maybe you said it wasn't worth it, Or that it would badly? You can't justify that you knew from experience. Maybe a few times, but I doubt that every single time you KNEW that it was a bad idea or that it would end badly.
The thing is, its not completely your fault you are a dream crusher. We are raised to think inside the box, and not branch out. Change is a "bad thing." I see parents telling their kids "No, we can't do that." or "you have quite the imagination." and saying things that are basically telling their kids that what they want is not important. We are tearing people down and raising others to do the same. It NEEDS to stop. We need to start being supportive of the things people want to do. Even if we know it will end poorly, support them. And when it does, be there for them.
We need to stop preventing people from experiencing the things they want to, and we need to start helping them find ways to do what they really want.
I am pleading with you. Please remember what it feels like to be told that something you want so dearly is "a waste", and stop doing the same to others. We as a humanity need to help others achieve things. We need to not tear them down. We need to support.
And if there is something you want to do, DO IT. Don't let others determine your destiny. Start now. Don't wait to have an eye opening moment like I did. I learned too late. And I can promise you, you'll learn too late. But, you still have time to change and do what you truly want. You may have missed opportunities, but more are on their way. Stop looking for others' approval and take those opportunities if you even slightly want to, and encourage others to do the same. Don't wait until you are told you are dying to do things you want. Start now.
We need others to survive, so lets make surviving bearable by helping each other live happily!