Today I went to my neighbors house to work on personal progress. Now, lately I have been down on myself. I have been stressed, been rude to people, had no patience, and that isn't like me. Normally someone could be throwing flaming balls of fire at me, and I would still be in controll. But lately if I find out that someone said something about me behind my back, I just don't want to talk to them. And I snap at everyone else because I assume that everyone is doing the same. But I am normally not quick to judge.
I think this is all because I have been hard on myself. I have been telling myself "I am not good enough to do such and such, or so and so hates me because I did this." when I really didn't do anything wrong, but I have been taking things to heart way to much. Today was just one of those days, where god told me "I am good. Everyone makes stupid mistakes. Everyone regrets things. But I am still wonderful. I am doing so many things right, don't let the little things you are doing wrong get you down." and he showed me that in many ways.
I was reading scriptures for my personal progress, and it was about qualities a mother should have. As I was reading, I kept thinking "I do that. I do that. I do that." to almost every single thing that it listed.
I'm church something that was said made me realize that. "The two most important things a person can do is controll their thoughts, and communicate with god" two things I have been working very hard on.
I was talking to my sister in law on the phone, and we were talking about horrible days. I think a lot of times those days relate to the feeling of "I am not good enough" and so we just feel miserable. I had mentioned that the women of this world are way to hard on theirselves. We live in a world where we feel like we have to be as good, or better than other people.
After I got off the phone, I started thinking about that. In this time, it is especially hard for women to feel confident about themselves. We have to wear bikinis to be noticed, we have to be thin. We 'have' to do so many things to be good enough. But I realized tonight that's not true.
We may live in a world of those things, but we don't have to live for the world. I don't want to live for the world. In fact, I am not going to.
I want to live for God.